the power to hovertate

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The epic power of laser pointer vision.

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The power to stare at deckchairs without blinking

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The power to bingewatch an entire season of a TV show in only five minutes, only to not remember any of it and have to watch it all again through normal means.

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The power to read your own mind

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The power to be better than Chuck Norris, but you have to be in a lucid sleep.

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The power to make Q-Tips rain from the sky every month

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yo mama

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The power to summon a spray of bullets going everywhere in the room, and bullet-vulnerability.

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The power to make clean socks dirty.

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The power to fly but only in your room

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The power to have everything taste like rubbing alcohol

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Reversed telepathy, everyone can hear your thoughts.

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The power to bleed anally at will

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The ability to produce snot twenty times faster than normal.

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The power to telepathically fold paper.

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The ability to type with your penis on your smart phone during a video chat.

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The ability to smell colors

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The power to be light and stand against darkness. Moral: FU Destiny!

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The power to have super hearing but only works when you are dead.

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The ability to shed one's skin like a snake.

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The power to be able to see 1 second into the future

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the power to not die only when someone shoots you in your left heel.

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The power to make a small chair appear -- one time.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!