The power to telepathically open umbrellas, only open and only umbrellas.

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The power to obey gravity

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the power to get a massive headache whenever you look at toast

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the ability to make a really long post ajsfffffhkshgdddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddfgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggjssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssa

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The power to shrink your private parts.

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the power to ejaculate 69% of what you normally do

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The power to know when a painting is crooked but it only works if the painting is noticeably crooked.

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the power to slightly darken the color of tree bark upon touch

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The ability to get shot, for real.

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The ability to give yourself any super power, but you cannot use it if it is used.

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Having perfect 20-20 vision, only when wearing glasses.

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The power to think oppositely

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The power to Rage Against The Machine

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The power to transform into a bucket of water.

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The power to have intense orgasms, but only if you choke yourself.

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The power to become the worlds most famous necrophilia pørnstar after dying.

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the power to make plants grow at a slightly excelled rate when lying on top of them .... you also smell like shit, all the time.

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The power to vomit every time you burp.

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The power to do a wheelie on. Unicycle

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The ability to fart extremely loudly every time you blink - but only when having dinnerwith your girlfriends parents for the first time.

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the ability to stop time on your watch, wall clocks, and everything that runs on battery.

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The power to keep up with the kardashians

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The power to be invulnerable while sleeping

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The power to speak any language except the language of your people.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!