the power to walk an inch above land but only on labor day

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The ability to cut your stool in to tiny pieces smaller than a pea

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the power to make your nipples dissappear

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The power to bingewatch an entire season of a TV show in only five minutes, only to not remember any of it and have to watch it all again through normal means.

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The power to defeat Chuck Norris but only if you can reach the speed of light

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The ability to stop only ONE bullet and ONE bullet only

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The superpower to detect when someone is racist.

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the power to turn into a piece of paper

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The power to clone yourself, except all your clones become Catholic priests. Moral: "Mommy! It was HE who touched me!"

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The ability to breath in a complete vacuum, but not anywhere else

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The power to pull any woman that just asked you for a shag.

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The power to knock yourself unconscious

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The ability to go to hell.

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Reversed telepathy, everyone can hear your thoughts.

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The power to be missed when present.

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The power to be an idiot.

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The power to disintegrate yourself

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The power to turn into a pebble

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The power to flush toilets with your mind

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The ability to change your weight

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The ability to talk to anybody in the world, as long as they are within your eyesight.

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the power to ryme words with orange, purple, and silver but only after eating your own poo and while singing a beyonce song

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The "helpers" you call during emergencies when they where new and a itsy bit unorganized... misunderstandings easily showed up part 1: The Firemen: Why the hell did you call us if this place is already on fire? Call the damn Watermen THEN! The Watermen: Sorry we only receive calls and help people that are drowning, try the Firemen or something... The Cops: Crime in the city? Sorry our work is to COP OUT of stuff, Try the Police or something...

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The ability when standing still you hover 1milimeter

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!