SHAPESHIFT - only into a guinee pig

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The power to teleport to Mars, but only when your not wearing a helmet and you must stay there for a maximum of one hour.

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The power to change your position whenever you want. (I don't mean teleport I mean you can lay down while sitting or stand up while laying down)

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The power of knowing every fact about dolphins

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The power to surround yourself in fire, but only when you're underwater.

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the power to turn everything you touch into gold......deja vu?

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The power to turn Justin Bieber into a cat and kill him 9 times

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The power to produce highly concentrated sulphuric acid in your sweat glands.

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The ability to become sexually attractive to Killer Whales

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The ability to sweat poop.

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The power to speak in languages that no one around you understands.

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To be immortal, but injuries do not heal and the pain is 100 times more intense

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the ability to make your eyes pop out.

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The power to instantly make an accurate assessment on tomorrow's hangover probability well before you've consumed far more than the amount of alcohol which would guarantee it...and yet manage to forget sometimes you have this superpower.

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the power to break the nib of a pencil so that its pointless

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the power to have 20/20 vision only when wearing aviators

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The power to be able to see 1 second into the future

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The power think five times slower.

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the power to predict the outcome of any event after it's already happened

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The power to know what someone thought, after they told you.

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The ability to go to hell.

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the power to walk on land.

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The power to read minds but only when you're alone

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Most of Gods powers part 2: Let us pretend that God really created everything... including sin right? God: Jebus, I want you to go down to earth and receive torture of legendary proportions, and die. Jebus: Why? God: To remove sin... Jebus: Uh... cant you just remove it? God replies either: 1. Yeah but ill be more fun this way, ill have you killed just to show you are not mortal anyways lol troll! 2. No, Sin is more powerful than me, so you better go die to not really die, relax... 3. Son, my ways are mysterious, "thunderstorm scares Jebus to go down) Moral disclaimer: God can be anyone`s God, and Jebus is not to be confused with the completely different Jesus. I mean every God out there and Jebus is simply a name I put instead of whoever prophet your religion has, so I really insulted everyone religious. Moral: (the other was a disclaimer) Religion is written by men... drunk men... now go eat your bread and drink your wine... and you shall become like Jebus... tortured and crucified? To show the world you are immortal? Side effects: Alcholism and all that follows, including a quicker death... to prove your immortality? (Hypnosis is powerful shit, especially when you are drunk, take it from a experienced hypnotist)

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!