- Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!

The power to sleep with your eyes open.

The power to become encased in concrete at will.

the power to walk an inch above land but only on labor day

The power to bingewatch an entire season of a TV show in only five minutes, only to not remember any of it and have to watch it all again through normal means.

The power to play a snippet of Darude-Sandstorm whenever you inhale or exhale.

The ability to fly away, but there is a 99.99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999% chance that you will get hit by a plane while taking off.

the ability to un-dank any meme

The power to poo without wiping.

The ability to have telekinesis on February the 30th

The power to have a photogenic memory (You look really good in every memory of yourself)

The power to drink as much tequila as you want without dying.

the power to travel 1-day into the future by waiting 24 hours

The power to not constantly thumb my comments up or down, whichever. Moral: Energy spent on me, is energy well spent! Stay proud and walk tall soldier!

the power to read this sentence

The problem to spit bars like a white person with autism

The power to produce highly concentrated sulphuric acid in your sweat glands.

The power to teleport yourself into space without a spacesuit on

The power to pull any woman that just asked you for a shag.

the power to read when you're not looking at any word or symbol

The power to turn everything you touched into gold. A-hem. Midas, you listening?

The ability to type with your penis on your smart phone during a video chat.

The power to fly but only in your room

The power to be stupid reading this.

The power to disintegrate yourself

Pointless Super Powers