Most of Gods powers part 2: Let us pretend that God really created everything... including sin right? God: Jebus, I want you to go down to earth and receive torture of legendary proportions, and die. Jebus: Why? God: To remove sin... Jebus: Uh... cant you just remove it? God replies either: 1. Yeah but ill be more fun this way, ill have you killed just to show you are not mortal anyways lol troll! 2. No, Sin is more powerful than me, so you better go die to not really die, relax... 3. Son, my ways are mysterious, "thunderstorm scares Jebus to go down) Moral disclaimer: God can be anyone`s God, and Jebus is not to be confused with the completely different Jesus. I mean every God out there and Jebus is simply a name I put instead of whoever prophet your religion has, so I really insulted everyone religious. Moral: (the other was a disclaimer) Religion is written by men... drunk men... now go eat your bread and drink your wine... and you shall become like Jebus... tortured and crucified? To show the world you are immortal? Side effects: Alcholism and all that follows, including a quicker death... to prove your immortality? (Hypnosis is powerful shit, especially when you are drunk, take it from a experienced hypnotist)

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The power to pause time and control every person you touch while the time is paused

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The power to give the wrong directions

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The power to vomit every time you burp.

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The power to speak a language only you can undeerstand

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the power to do a backflip but only if you break your neck in the process

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The power to eat your own head.

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the power to pee while brushing your teeth

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The ability to seduce any woman.....over 200lbs......that was born with a penis.

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The power to jerk off without using your hands

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The power to die and not come back to life.

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The ability to spontaneously get drunk, but only when writing your exams

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The power of compulsive lying.

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The power to cry sulfuric acid.

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the power to stand straight but only when you bend over

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The power to accidently find all spoilers online before you watch a film or an episode of a series.

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Being able to poop your pants at will with no control over it.

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The ability to instantly turn 360 degrees.

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The ability to pass out at will.

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The ability to breathe out of water.

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the power to like Hilary Clinton

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The power to recite all of Encyclopedia Brown's cases in alphabetical order.

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The power to .... Make pointless superpowers! :D

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The power to know the ending of the book before you get there.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!