Justin Bieber

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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boo

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The ability to wake up at 3:45 am if you were sleeping, and not be able to fall assleeP again for 20 minutes.

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The power to phase through walls whenever there is a door nearby leading to the next room

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The power to speak to toasters

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Ability to emit a low-level light, but only when standing near a candle.

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The power to know the word for potato in every human language... including binary (011100000110111101110100011000010111010001101111)

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The power to be any animal you want, but only if you are that specific animal that you want to be.

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the power to stand straight but only when you bend over

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The power to change the color of your saliva.

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The power to get cancer all the time. And strokes.

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The power to have a %90 chance of dying every single second.

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The power to sit on a pile of change and add it up.

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The Power To Fly Without control

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The power to blink, but only if polline gets in your eye.

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The power to change your eye color.

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The power to find any film directed by Uwe Boll entertaining.

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Being only half invisible.

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The left part of your body is fireproof but the right side is not

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The power to transform into baby food.

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THE SUPER FRIENDS HEROES LEAGUE OF SUPER HEROES OF LESSER USEFUL HEROES! KNIGHT FARTSALOT!: Fear my methane! You and me in one small room for 3 days and you will faint for sure! Uncle Diabeetush: Save their parents Captain! Ill take care of their children! Captain Novolin: I have great sugar level control! Help me! Evil Mistress Sugarpie is too sweet! Runald MagnifiCient Donalds: HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR WOOOOO! I keep American people from starvation! Remember kids less than 250 pounds counts as starvation! And their LEADER... MORAL MAN!: The hell am I introducing myself here for? Damn you Subconscious! How can you expect people to understand my genius of putting myself here! They are morons! Oh... hi everybody.. wazzup?

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The ability to read your own mind

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The ability to change your hair color to your current hair color

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!