the power to gain the intelligents of forest gump, but not the table tennis playing ability

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The power to finish right before you start (If you know what I mean)

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The power to turn a light on with your mind, but only if the light is already on

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The power to smell inside of your own butt.

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The power to shoot webs, but only out of your ass

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The power to always be at half mast.

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the power to hover an inch above the ground once every month.

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The power to swear if you do not believe in a God. Moral: Meh... if I post anything against God here you guys will thumb me down and that matters... it matters so much that I will use the section over to shit talk God... yeah... thumb me down already fearing zealots... show me your true power (being Gods bitches) now that is pointless power!

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The power to speak any language except the language of your people.

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The power to die

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The power to die after life has left you old and decrepit.

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The power to make any glass of water into milk

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the ability to stop time on your watch, wall clocks, and everything that runs on battery.

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The power to speak a language only you can undeerstand

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The power to turn vaseline into mercury whenever you think about throwing away a perfectly good taco

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The power that when you sit down you fall through the seat

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Super Arians. Moral: If you think of it, Super Sayan is an acronym for Super Asian, are blonde blue eyed Asians superiors? DRAGON BALL JAPANAZEE!

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the power to time travel to the present

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The power to turn into a lamp once.

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The power to become a virgin but only if you've never had sex.

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The power to magically generate drugs in your pockets, but only while being arrested or in a police station.

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the power to predict Justin Beiber's next album

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cry acid tears

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The power to become a fish for 10 hours on dry land

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!