- Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!

The power to do 1d3 points of damage on successful touch attack twice a day assuming no spell resistance.

to be only be able to walk for 0.0183874662 ever 11.204882884832 days

The power to grow a mustache with your pubic hair

The power to turn on a hot flash, but only when it's 80 degrees out.

The power to lift animate objects in the same direction.

the power to convert oxygen and glucose to water and carbon dioxide every time you breathe.

The power to clap 14 times a second

The power to lick any telephone pole to call somebody in the winter.

The power to elect George W Bush.

The power to communicate with dust bunnies.

The power to recharge batteries by licking them.

The ability to have A's in all your classes, but only if you already have A's in all your classes.

The Power to make miracle, now days there are no safe place in earth. We may died anytime

The power to be black, but only if you are at a KKK meeting

the power to hovertate

The power to turn toast back into bread

The power to bingewatch an entire season of a TV show in only five minutes, only to not remember any of it and have to watch it all again through normal means.

The power to open doors with your bare hands

The power to be better than Chuck Norris, but you have to be in a lucid sleep.

The power to use a ridiculous signature that kills any chance of receving green thumbs. Moral: What you talking bout foo?

The power to turn everything you touched into gold. A-hem. Midas, you listening?

the power to jump, but only on any surface

The power of walk on the water if it is frozen.

The ability to melt ice slower than it would usually melt

Pointless Super Powers