The ability to unknowingly untaim domestic animals.

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The power to use a rectangular prism to generate electricity to go on a square-shaped object full of pixels and create things with it.

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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the power to freeze people only when it's cold

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the power to teleport but it takes longer than it would to walk to your destination.

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The ability to grow breasts once a year.

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To be able to commit a sexual offense but never get away with it

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The power to turn on electronic devices without pressing the switch, but only when you're touching the switch.

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01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110000 01101111 01110111 01100101 01110010 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01110010 01100101 01100001 01100100 00100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001

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The power to get off the internet and do something productive

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The ability to turn into a really comfortable chair FOREVER.

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The power to think that you can fly when you wear a cape.

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The power to think of powers someone else has already come up with

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The power to see when people fart.

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The power to never receive pop-ups when surfing porn, but only on gay porn

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the power to have a combination lock, and forget the code

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The power to grow fingernails.

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The power to not look up silly websites on the internet

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The power to pick any lock as long as its open

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The power to be number one, unless someone was better than you.

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The ability to digest three types of earth elementals

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the ability to grow a boner to an incredible size but only when you are asked to come up to the front of the class

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The power to read any captcha, but no longer be able to type.

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The power to smell people's moods

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!