the power to never be late to work, but only when you're unemployed.

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power to age faster

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The power to know when a painting is crooked but it only works if the painting is noticeably crooked.

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the ability to make your finger nails longer by 0.1 %

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The power to be really offensive after you finished a sentence U FUKING JAP

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The ability to know all the cheats/hacks for Half-Life 3.

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The power get everyone's attention by jerking off in public

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The power to give the wrong directions

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The power to speak using their mouth

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The power to jizz mango chutney

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The power to break the tip of a pencil every time you blink

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The ability to not drop anything ...when you're not holding anything

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The power to make your left hand glow whenever you put your right hand up your ass.

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The power to swear if you do not believe in a God. Moral: Meh... if I post anything against God here you guys will thumb me down and that matters... it matters so much that I will use the section over to shit talk God... yeah... thumb me down already fearing zealots... show me your true power (being Gods bitches) now that is pointless power!

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being black

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The power to flap your arms uncontrollably every time a hot girl walks past you.

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Having taste buds in your anus.

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The power to Rage Against The Machine

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The power of HONOR AND LOVE! Moral: it wont make you honorable, or lovable by the way.

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The power to gain 400 pounds in 400 seconds.

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The power to die

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The power to heal but every time you heal your leg or arm falls off.

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The power to uncontrollably say "thats what she said" whenever it is possible, even if its really shitty

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The power to change your urine to any color

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!