The power to communicate with sperm.

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The power to read your own mind

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The ability to become sexually attractive to Killer Whales

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The power to make clean socks dirty.

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The ability to fart extremely loudly every time you blink - but only when having dinnerwith your girlfriends parents for the first time.

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The power to wear the same clothes every day without them getting dirty.

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The power to shit out toilet paper.

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The power think five times slower.

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The power to remove cancer from stroke victim's bodies.

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The power to turn water into ice but only in sub zero temperatures

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The power to fire lasers from my nipples.

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The power to not care.

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The power to swear if you do not believe in a God. Moral: Meh... if I post anything against God here you guys will thumb me down and that matters... it matters so much that I will use the section over to shit talk God... yeah... thumb me down already fearing zealots... show me your true power (being Gods bitches) now that is pointless power!

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The power to hold your breath when you die

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The power to make anyone you see look surprise.

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The power to have all pointless superpowers, but only on the 12th and or 13th on january on a year that isn't 2015 or lower, but you have to be wearing nothing but purple underwear and a skanky hat.

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The ability to kill anyone, only if he/she is your close friend.

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The power to shrink boobs by merely touching them.

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The power uncontrollably self destruct when you feel safe.

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the power to see everything as if it were a 1 year olds dralling.

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the power to pay 1 cent less then what items in the store cost

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The ability to know any language but only after learning it.

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The power to be a common person

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The power to be able to make something usable but have it disappear when you try to use it.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!