The power to only be able to eat poop

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the ability to un-dank any meme

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The power to surround yourself in fire, but only when you're underwater.

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the power of breath 10 times per second of you will die

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The power to be better than Chuck Norris, but you have to be in a lucid sleep.

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The power to disintegrate yourself

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The power of omnipotence and omniscience but you work in such mysterious ways that youre both invisible and intangible and without will to do skwat. Oh wait that sounds like...

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The power think five times slower.

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The power get everyone's attention by jerking off in public

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The power to die every time you are standing on something.

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The power to speed up time moments before you are about to die.

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The power to fire lasers from my nipples.

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The power to wear the same clothes every day without them getting dirty.

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De poverr too tipe relly shiiti annd stil bee undrstod bai rettadad peepols unly.

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The power to take edible shits.

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the power to have 20/20 vision only when wearing aviators

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The ability to stretch your arm towards an object thats in a reachable distance then clench your hand around the object and pull it to yourself.

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The power to whipe the floor with your face.

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The Power of your footstep sounding like a horse gallop

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you can summon raccoons, but all they do is piss on your shit

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The ability to know any language but only after learning it.

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The power to spit so hard and fast that you hit yourself in the back of the head every time... and it can only be used once, because its so hard it goes trough everything...(thus hits you in the skull duh) including your skull... Moral: Remember kids! Protect, Serve and Survive, and ask your mommy and daddy why they make the sexytime... their response may be pretty interesting...

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Absolute Defeatability- the power to be defeated by any and all things physical and nonphysiological.

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The ability to be born, live for about 75 years and then die.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!