The power to kill someone with a knife

The power to swear if you do not believe in a God. Moral: Meh... if I post anything against God here you guys will thumb me down and that matters... it matters so much that I will use the section over to shit talk God... yeah... thumb me down already fearing zealots... show me your true power (being Gods bitches) now that is pointless power!

you can summon raccoons, but all they do is piss on your shit

The power to not care.

The power to eat the same food but you have to throw it up first.

The power to die using only your mind.

The power to cum cucumbers if you are a man.

The power to bounce a beach ball with lightly above-average accuracy

The power to put your finger in your brain, but doing so kills you and achieves nothing.

The power to spit so hard and fast that you hit yourself in the back of the head every time... and it can only be used once, because its so hard it goes trough everything...(thus hits you in the skull duh) including your skull... Moral: Remember kids! Protect, Serve and Survive, and ask your mommy and daddy why they make the sexytime... their response may be pretty interesting...

The ability to turn your fingers into angry bears without you being able to control them

Absolute Defeatability- the power to be defeated by any and all things physical and nonphysiological.

The power to pronounce the word "rural."

The power to speak a language only you can undeerstand

the power to turn yourself into a toaster. once,

The power look completely butiful but Only in complete darkness

The power to make muffins appear out of nowhere.

The power to die at will

The power to turn into a lamp once.

The power to summon fire with the use of a match

The power to Rage Against The Machine

The power to love me. Moral: I have enough of my own. HE TORTURES YOU BECAUSE HE NEEDS YOUR LOVE, I DONT TOUCH YOU BECAUSE I REQUIRE NOT YOUR LOVE, WHO IS YOUR GOD NOW! (still not me, Gods and super sayans are foolish)

The power to see through things but you can't turn it off once turned on.

The power to ejaculate needles.

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!