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the power to smell like ham

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The power to be superman with no power's

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the power to know when the pope is taking a dump

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The power to run half as fast as whoever is chasing you.

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the ability to spin gold into straw

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The ability to grow your hair at an ever so slightly extended rate!

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The power to find pokemon attractive

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The power to have a %90 chance of dying every single second.

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the power to grow any one hair at any desirable lenght

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The power to not be moral man. Moral: Your thumbs down cant hurt me! Are you a fucking ass? IM THE MORAL MAN BITCH!

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The power to stop time for all living beings in the world, including yourself, and starting it again at the same time as the time would have been if you didn't stop it.

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The power to become a frog when a snake sees you

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The power to transform your foreskin into rusty iron.

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The Power to Fail in Failing

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the ability to grow a boner to an incredible size but only when you are asked to come up to the front of the class

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The power to see in black and white at will.

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The power to ejaculate napalm

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The power to make lipstick fly

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the power to live in lava, magma, fire, etc unless your body temp is over 120 degrees

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The ability to teleport a maximum of two inches.

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Super speed, but with super clumsiness

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the ability to say either "beans are magical!" or "beans are fruit!" in an angry tone, and have people believe you

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The ability to teleport to the Taj Mahal whenever you want ONLY the Taj Mahal

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!