The power to read the future in a language you will never learn to understand. Moral: I read that "thy comment expects a billion red thumbs"... WTF does that mean?

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The power to think oppositely

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The power to immediately become comatose every time you blink.

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The power to be invisible but only in the dark.

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the power of being yourself

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the power to turn into celebs that evryonr loves to write about only infront of 1 million people

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The power of fork-throwing. This includes large pie servers, spoons, and basically any other utensils that are not knives.

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The power of immortality, but only when you try to commit suicide.

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the power to turn into a piece of paper

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The power to read your own mind

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The power to completely understand Monty Python sketches.

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The power of hindsight

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The power to speak in languages that no one around you understands.

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The power to eat sandwiches and never get full

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The "helpers" you call during emergencies when they where new and a itsy bit unorganized... misunderstandings easily showed up part 1: The Firemen: Why the hell did you call us if this place is already on fire? Call the damn Watermen THEN! The Watermen: Sorry we only receive calls and help people that are drowning, try the Firemen or something... The Cops: Crime in the city? Sorry our work is to COP OUT of stuff, Try the Police or something...

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The ability to die, when you say: "death powers activate!" . You can only do it once though.

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The power to deconstruct molecules, but only when they're part of an object with a volume of 1 cubic millimeter.

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the power to have 20/20 vision only when wearing aviators

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The power to know when to hold them, but not know when to fold them.

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The power to take edible shits.

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The ability to pull Bleach Flavored lighter fluid out of your ass every time you see a modern feminist or a Jacob Satorious video

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The power uncontrollably self destruct when you feel safe.

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The power to be really offensive after you finished a sentence U FUKING JAP

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The ability to sweat poop.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!