The power to read minds but only when you're alone

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The ability to control Do-Do Birds

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the power to change people socks on command

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the power to turn yourself into a toaster. once,

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The power to pause time and control every person you touch while the time is paused

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The power to spit so hard and fast that you hit yourself in the back of the head every time... and it can only be used once, because its so hard it goes trough everything...(thus hits you in the skull duh) including your skull... Moral: Remember kids! Protect, Serve and Survive, and ask your mommy and daddy why they make the sexytime... their response may be pretty interesting...

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the power to get sick

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The power to win any game against a 5-year-old.

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the power to smell like ham

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the power to photobomb random peoples photos without even knowing

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The power to shape-shift only into a human

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The power to summon a green Hippo that would mush up your poop in your toilet. Oddly, the superpower is only able to be summonded one a year, sorry.

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The power of dying whenever you want.

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The power to think of a clever comeback as soon as the person has left the room.

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the power to make my 8==D go 8=D 8===D 8=D 8===D.

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The power to make Justin Bieber be dead but only when you are listening to someone good at singing

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The power to see you're self in a mirror

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The superpower to realize that if you guys thumb my former comment up, then it is no longer a useless "superpower" and would by itself contradict uh... itself.. by being useful... Moral: Hey, turning into Beiber at will is useful for banging silly young chicks at will is it not? And I will rather bang brainless women (beliebers yes I mean you, because everyone deserves some love) Disclaimer: Sexual age of consent is 16 over here, and good luck calling a whole nation for pedophiles, nope girls simply mature faster here... Fact: Above.

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Be invincible...but only when you're NOT in danger.

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The power to shrink your dick smaller but an inability to make it larger (even back to the original size).

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the power to cancel your powers wich is the power thats cancelling powers.

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The power to perform incredible feats of strength and speed but only while on an elevator.

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the power to explain accidents when nobody gives a rats ass anymore

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The power to speak braille.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!