The ability to control dairy products

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The power to teleport yourself anywhere you want except for your major organs.

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The ability to cure polio, but only within U.S. borders.

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The power to make a rather pointless comeback here... Moral: See what I mean? ;),

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The power to have any girl as your girl friend but they turn ugly

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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The power of becoming an apple tree

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the power to shoot fireballs only when your underwater

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The power to pause time and control every person you touch while the time is paused

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The power to lose body parts by merely thinking about losing said parts coupled together with worry. I.e. I hope I don't lose my testicles.... Damn-it!!

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The power to eat anything, but always vomit 15 minutes later.

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the power to have an organsim when your a boy

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Ability to emit a low-level light, but only when standing near a candle.

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The ability to see into the present.

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The power to never be old but died at young age

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The power to grow nipples all over your body at will

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the ability to discern homophobic, racist, and mysoginistic posts on this site from the actually ok ones.. oh wait this is useful STOP BEING A JACKASS

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The ability to eat fruit cake without gagging.

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The power to have a pointless power.

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The power to fly when your in an airplane

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The power to create a vaporization beam that removes one atom per second.

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The power to eat soup with a fork.

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the power to kill someone if you shoot them in the heart

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The power to actually ENJOY Dora the Explorer.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!