the ability to discern homophobic, racist, and mysoginistic posts on this site from the actually ok ones.. oh wait this is useful STOP BEING A JACKASS

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the power to travel around the world in 24 hours

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The power to ejaculate out of your ears once daily

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cry acid tears

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The ability to stop farting so that you blow up like a balloon that eventually bursts.

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Power to not get pissed off after seing so many of this: "Power to turn invisible when no one is looking."

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The power to become retarded but your so stupid you forget how to turn it off

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The Power to make PotNoodle...

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The ability to see things only as their component atoms.

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The power to take my legs off the floor while in a sitting position.

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The power to make everyone think that having no power is the ultimate power so everyone thinks they're powerful when they realize they have no powers but you have one so you win

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The ability to teleport 1 step forward at will at a walking pace.

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The power to still believe in Santa Clause.

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The power to accidently find all spoilers online before you watch a film or an episode of a series.

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The power to be the most amazing singer in the world, but only when nobody can hear you.

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The power to get shot when you're alone

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the power to see 3 seconds into the past.

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The power to inhale coins without dying.

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The power to know who farted at any time.

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The power to turn yourself into Donald Trump.

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The power to transform money into a foreign currency of lesser value.

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The power to ejaculate napalm

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The ability to teleport to the Taj Mahal whenever you want ONLY the Taj Mahal

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The ability to have A's in all your classes, but only if you already have A's in all your classes.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!