The ability when standing still you hover 1milimeter

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The power to make a small chair appear -- one time.

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The power to jump several thousand feet in the air, without the power to survive the impact of landing

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The power to cum cucumbers if you are a man.

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The power to put your finger in your brain, but doing so kills you and achieves nothing.

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The power to fly if you are eating.

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The power to be really offensive after you finished a sentence U FUKING JAP

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The power to die using only your mind.

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The power to crash land ANY vehicle you steer/control. "Hah finally I got a tank! OMG ITS GAINING SPEED ON ITS OWN IN FRONT OF THAT GIANT RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMP!

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To have the ability to piss off the police

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The power to predict last week's lottery numbers

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The power to spit so hard and fast that you hit yourself in the back of the head every time... and it can only be used once, because its so hard it goes trough everything...(thus hits you in the skull duh) including your skull... Moral: Remember kids! Protect, Serve and Survive, and ask your mommy and daddy why they make the sexytime... their response may be pretty interesting...

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The power of x-ray vision but unfortunatly your blind

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The power to pronounce the word "rural."

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the power to get somewere at the same time that you arrive.

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the power to open doors that are unlocked

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the power to become phil collins, but only after peter gabrial left

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the power to turn yourself into a toaster. once,

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The power to melt butter with your mind when its hot outside

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the power to fall at 9.9m per second.

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The power to make muffins appear out of nowhere.

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The power to summon fire with the use of a match

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The power to die at will

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The power to turn into a lamp once.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!