- Pointless Super Powers

To have the ability to piss off the police

The power to be asleep while in bed

The power to spit so hard and fast that you hit yourself in the back of the head every time... and it can only be used once, because its so hard it goes trough everything...(thus hits you in the skull duh) including your skull... Moral: Remember kids! Protect, Serve and Survive, and ask your mommy and daddy why they make the sexytime... their response may be pretty interesting...

The power of x-ray vision but unfortunatly your blind

The power to pronounce the word "rural."

the power to open doors that are unlocked

the power to become phil collins, but only after peter gabrial left

the power to get sick

The power to melt butter with your mind when its hot outside

The ability to not slip on banana peels

you do not need to eat but you have to sit

The power to die at will

The power to turn into a lamp once.

The power to summon fire with the use of a match

The ability to simultaneously implode and explode.

The power to have a atomic fart

The power to always know the exact time.

The power to make people disappear bye closing your eyes

the power to slitely change how you look by smiling

The power to get laid by your right hand.

The power to ejaculate out of your ears once daily

The power to teleport to anywhere in the known universe, but not be able to teleport back

The power to change into an Arab at will. Moral: Will not work inside arab-countries.

The power to read minds, but only that of someone who is watching Twilight.

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!