Read fortune cookies without opening them

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The power to jump 1 centimeter off the ground and be hungry and if you don't get food within a nano second you'll die of exposure to any form of matter

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The power to ejaculate laser beams.

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The power to be really bad at CSGO

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The power to communicate with dust bunnies.

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thw power to not feel anything during sex unless you dont like the sex (ie rape, ugly fat pearson)

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having superpowers during the inquisition

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the power to piss at will but only when your bladder is full

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The ability to get anyone answer your messages when the answer starts: What the...

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the ability to dice a watermelon by looking at it but when you eat any of the diced watermelon a magic watermelon grows in your stomach and you look fat

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The power to shoot money out of your hands, but only when your body is on fire.

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the power to run 10000 mph, but evertime you ran you were teleported to a police station and you turned into a black guy

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The Power to float on water, except when you're wet..

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The ability too shit out calculators every 10 seconds.

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To have the power to breathe

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The power to know what you do when you discuss the secret formula on the third Wednesday in January and it's not raining outside after we've gargled with vanilla pudding.

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The ability to stub your toe on every object near you when walking.

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The power to laught at Tyler Perry's House of Payne

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The power to speak only in hashtags. #awkward

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The power to blink 1.0000000000001 times faster than the average human.

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The power to breathe but only when your dead uncle breathes

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The power to iron your clothes with your mind before putting it in the washing machine

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The power to break a Nokia

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The power to tell what a person has eaten by the smell of their farts

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!