The power to write pointless superpowers

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The power to always know the exact time.

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the power to slitely change how you look by smiling

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The power to make people disappear bye closing your eyes

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The power to change into an Arab at will. Moral: Will not work inside arab-countries.

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The power to teleport to anywhere in the known universe, but not be able to teleport back

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The power to ejaculate out of your ears once daily

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The power to read minds, but only that of someone who is watching Twilight.

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The power to be able to hear your t.v while it's on mute.

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The power to die and come back to life in the middle of a crossfire between two tanks.

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the power to walk thorugh a door if its lcosed

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The power to teleport to a singular spot 500 meters above sea level and you don't have any other powers.

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the power to turn into a tree

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The superpower to realize that if you guys thumb my former comment up, then it is no longer a useless "superpower" and would by itself contradict uh... itself.. by being useful... Moral: Hey, turning into Beiber at will is useful for banging silly young chicks at will is it not? And I will rather bang brainless women (beliebers yes I mean you, because everyone deserves some love) Disclaimer: Sexual age of consent is 16 over here, and good luck calling a whole nation for pedophiles, nope girls simply mature faster here... Fact: Above.

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The power to shoot webs, but only out of your ass

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01010100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110000 01101111 01110111 01100101 01110010 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01110100 01111001 01110000 01100101 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 00101110 (The power to type in binary)

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The power to breathe underwater but only if you are dry.

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the power to sit

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The power to lick your elbow.

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The power to turn on electronic devices without pressing the switch, but only when you're touching the switch.

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The ability to teleport 1 step forward at will at a walking pace.

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The power to quote Castlevania quotes all day... yelling them out on the streets! Moral: WHAT IS A MAN! People look at me and laugh... and moral man struts past... he has never been so awesome before... They see me rollin... they laughing... they lovin... and I hope nobody calls the ambulance because I am crazy... in love... I can see it in your eyes... I can see it in your smiiileeee...

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when riding home on my bike with music on pretenend im in a race with no1 and commentate on it .....

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The power to walk at the speed of light, but not any slower.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!