The power to be so fast, that if you sprint forward you travel the whole world just in time to fuck yourself.

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The power to fuck your moms pussy at will (her opinion or desire means nothing to the will of your useless superpower!). Moral: SONS OF SICKMAN FRAUD REJOICE!

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The power to be gangsta, only in front of true gangsta's.

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The power of super farts, which doesn't work unless you probably breathe, by super farts I also mean really really really stinky long farts..

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the power to get sick

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The power to write about pointless superpowers.

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The ability to pee while standing up for men

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Strength to instantly kill anyone just by lightly tapping them, as long as they're physically stronger than you.

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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the power to be in AA.

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The ability to see into the present.

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The power to have razor sharp facial hair.

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The ability to eat fruit cake without gagging.

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Each time to show up on daily live TV each time you are masturbating.

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the power to feel pain whenever you breathe

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The power to create another human

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The power to think that you can fly when you wear a cape.

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The power to have the aim of Torres

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Power to make it rain sideways.

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The ability to turn into any inanimate object, but you can't turn back.

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The power of the most useless power and have that power.

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The power to find any film directed by Uwe Boll entertaining.

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The power to have anything you want that is free.

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The ability to sit on air, provided you are in space.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!