The ability to get shot, for real.

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The power to think of witty comebacks 3 days too late

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The ability to police irony

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The ability to lift things up and put them down.

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The power to fold paper seven times

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the power to make an earthquake that an ant can not even feel

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lol

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The power to turn Dollars into Pennies

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The power to cum cucumbers if you are a man.

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the power to get a massive headache whenever you look at toast

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The power to tolerate Justin Bieber.

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The power to become perfect. Perfect: There can be only one moral man.

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The power to jump over any fence no matter how high! Good luck surviving the fall.

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The power to create a unicorn online.

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the power to make a fart that kills people when no one is around you

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the power to get somewere at the same time that you arrive.

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The power to speak any language except the language of your people.

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The power to make a rather pointless comeback here... Moral: See what I mean? ;),

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the ability bend your legs in a perfect circle

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the power to spit long distances at inconvenient times

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The power to burn the sun.

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The ability to not slip on banana peels

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The power to think up the best lines but forget them when you try to speak

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The power to turn vaseline into mercury whenever you think about throwing away a perfectly good taco

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!