The power to walk on very very shallow water (

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The Ability to shit studs once a week

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The power to see why kids love cinnamon toast crunch

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The power to open doors with your bare hands

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The power to make your self drunk using only your mind, but only while your driving your kids to school

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EntirelyTooManyNapkins Man

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The power to climb up fallen trees

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The power of immortality, but only when you try to commit suicide.

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The power to know when your sandwitch will be ready!

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The power to run at 0.5mph

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The power to die at will

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The power to like this power

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the power to detect when there is oxygen near you

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The ability to lift small objects with your mind, but only if you are touching them.

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The power to be mario for 10 seconds then you vomit shit for 17 hours. this happens every week.

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The power to telepathically fold paper.

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The power to volunteer as tribute.

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The power to not have any power at all

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The power to kill yourself just by thinking about something.

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The power to handle the truth. Moral: Because with the exception of a few good men... YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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The power to be light and stand against darkness. Moral: FU Destiny!

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the power to like charlie

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Astral Projection. Distance: .3mm

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the power to imagine any women naked...but only as an octogenerian

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!