The power to make any woman fall in love with you, only when your wife is beside you.

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The power to turn into a slightly smaller, weaker version of yourself.

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The power to transform money into a foreign currency of lesser value.

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The power to jump high into the sky, only to drop down later...

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the power to turn into a narwhal. Once. At your grandmother's funeral

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The power to make any liquid luke warm (it works both ways)

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The power to float in water, and then sink sometimes.

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The power to collect a interesting variety of ceramic animals.

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the power to make food shrimp.

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Listen to Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black everywhere you go.

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The power to survive jumping form a plane as long as you have a parachute.

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The power to know what you're going to have for dinner on any given day 10 years from now.

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The power to blink at incredibly fast speeds

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you can summon raccoons, but all they do is piss on your shit

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the ability to only crap while on a toilet

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The power to bake cakes precisely 2.7% faster than usual.

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to be able to fly but only 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000001 millimetres of the ground and not even feel or look like your floating

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The power to be caught sniffing your sisters panties and get punished by having her crotch forced up and down yours while your mother licks your balls.

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The power to like any show

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The power of exploding when you think.

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the ability bend your legs in a perfect circle

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The ability to perceive the presence of light.... with your ears. (warning, blindness may effect abilities potency.)

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The power of turning into a crushed can right after you got into a car accident.

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the power of running at superspeed, whenever you are sat down

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!