The power to resurrect the dead but only for 1 second.

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The power to be out of the kitchen... and a woman

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the power to be like charlie sheen and relize that my score is 0

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The ability to turn into a phone when its smash your phone season

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The power to remember the funniest thing in the world and have a full on laughing fit, as long as you are at a funeral.

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The power to always lie even when you don't want to and then you have to truthfully say that you were lying otherwise the closest person kicks you in the groins.

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The power to perform incredible feats of strength and speed but only while on an elevator.

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The power to lose your voice when you yell a lot.

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The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

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the power to jerk off

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The power to shrink smaller than oxygen molecules.

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The power to quote Castlevania quotes all day... yelling them out on the streets! Moral: WHAT IS A MAN! People look at me and laugh... and moral man struts past... he has never been so awesome before... They see me rollin... they laughing... they lovin... and I hope nobody calls the ambulance because I am crazy... in love... I can see it in your eyes... I can see it in your smiiileeee...

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The power to count to infinity.

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PATTIES THAT ARE SUPPOSEDLY READY TO EAT, BUT COVERED IN STICKY HARDENED FAT! Moral: Damn greasy hand surprise! I was going all victoly on guilty gear XXX

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The power to change the color of your saliva.

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The ability to always wake up in time but never fall asleep in time.

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The power to look at this thing - Browny the dow

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The power to laugh in Japanese.

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The power to grow your own armpit hair at a rate of 1 ft/day, and change its color at will.

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The ability to mess up a Rubix Cube with your mind

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the power to turn into toilet paper but not back

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The power to shoot pieces of cheese from your eyes..

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The power to breathe through your mouth when you have a stuffy nose

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The power to waste money

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!