to walk 5 miles at 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 miles per hour

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to eat a pie and get to fart an apple (cus why not)

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The power of self mind control

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the power to make an earthquake that an ant can not even feel

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The ability to make dogs sneeze

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The power to easily flirt with women but only near your mom.

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The power to see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch

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The power to pause time and control every person you touch while the time is paused

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Be virtually indestructible, but only to things your not paying attention too.

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The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a children's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

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the power to have the pleasure of sex with out having to do anything to yourself or anybody else!! heckk yes haha

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The problem to spit bars like a white person with autism

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The power to become the worlds most famous necrophilia pørnstar after dying.

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The power to Grow a baby in a woman.... for 9 months.

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The ability to be born, live for about 75 years and then die.

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The power to be invisible when no one is looking at you!

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The power to journey into the future of the past.

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The power to sharpen a pen

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The power to lose body parts by merely thinking about losing said parts coupled together with worry. I.e. I hope I don't lose my testicles.... Damn-it!!

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the power to change people socks on command

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You know what they say! The power to make all toasters... Toast Toast!

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The power to shit yourself on a really hot day with no change of underwear

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The power to scare female plants.

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The power to turn water into wine.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!