The Power To Lick My Own Penis

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The ability to recall lyrics of particularly terrible music with perfect accuracy.

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A follow up to the next comment bellow... (the irony) is that you also get the powers to type YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! And other quotes at random points... I got these powers... you do not believe me? YOU THINK YOU HAVE THAT LUXURY? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! Moral: GUANTANAMO BAY CUBA! Just making conversation... (throws random small dog in the trash container) last part was just me its not like you get the power to do what he does in movies :P

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the power to summon fire with a lighter

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The power to turn into the Hulk, but only when you are asleep.

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The power to turn vaseline into mercury whenever you think about throwing away a perfectly good taco

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The ability to walk slower than everyone else

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The power to revive people, however it only works on people who commit genocide.

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?u?op ?p?sdn ????? o? ???od ???

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The power to seduce any woman but only if you're gay

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the power to eat your cereal and milk with a knife

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mime-o-moid. The power to pretend to be stuck in a box, walk a dog and climb a rope.

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The power to make Justin Bieber be dead but only when you are listening to someone good at singing

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The power to become the best player in every Moral Kombat game there is. Test your Morals... TSHHH, test your morals TSHHH MORAL KOMBAT! Mortal: FEAR THE WRATH OF MORAL KAHN!

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The power to eat as many ice cubes as you want without getting a brain freeze.

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PATTIES THAT ARE SUPPOSEDLY READY TO EAT, BUT COVERED IN STICKY HARDENED FAT! Moral: Damn greasy hand surprise! I was going all victoly on guilty gear XXX

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The power to teleport randomly anywhere on the planet, once every hour

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The power to control time by pressing your right elbow under your right armpit

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constantly flowing sexy anime hair.

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The power to overcome any addiction by constantly doing whatever you are addicted to.

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The ability to die at will, but not come back to life.

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the ability to give a potato an orgasm

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The power to fly, but only when pigs do

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the power to see through clothes but only old peoples clothes -jesse

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!