The power to talk without a tongue

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The power to make every female cop want you... IN JAIL.

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BULLET ATTRACTION.

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the power to get in the van

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The power of measuring grains of corn from a large distance.

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you do not need to eat but you have to sit

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The power to grow your fingernails .0001 centimeters a day

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The power to be gangsta, only in front of true gangsta's.

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The ability to not slip on banana peels

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to have the power to dig a hole 2 milimeters deep in a century

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the power to shrink 0.1 millimeter or grow 0.1 millimeter

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The ability to breath in a complete vacuum but nowhere else

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the power to beathe

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The power to win any game against a 5-year-old.

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The power to resurrect the dead but only for 1 second.

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the power to be like charlie sheen and relize that my score is 0

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The ability to turn into a phone when its smash your phone season

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The power to remember the funniest thing in the world and have a full on laughing fit, as long as you are at a funeral.

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The power to always lie even when you don't want to and then you have to truthfully say that you were lying otherwise the closest person kicks you in the groins.

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The power to become retarded but your so stupid you forget how to turn it off

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The power to lose your voice when you yell a lot.

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The power to perform incredible feats of strength and speed but only while on an elevator.

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The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

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The immeasurable power to thumb this up all the way to the top... or even at all... I mean thumbing it down makes a lot more sense... then again this is pointless as hell ;D Richter : Hydro Storm! Rain: KSSSSHHH!!!! Dracula: Ugh agh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh... Ahh!! Iiiiyoouu!! Play time's over, grant me powweeeeeeerrrrrraaaaaaahhh!!! Richter: Hydro Storm! Rain: KSSSSSSSSHHHH!!!!! Fire burning Dracula: Chug chug chug chug chug! Dracula: No, this cannot be!!! AAAAAAHHHH!!! Fire burning the picture: Tugshung, gshung, gshung!gh... Moral: Now I am just screwing around, I recently played an dusty old game Called Castlevania: Symphony of the night... best game ever...

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!