The power to speed up time moments before you are about to die.

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The ability to cut your stool in to tiny pieces smaller than a pea

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The power to teleport but you must have walked to that place within the last attosecond

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The power to have everything taste like rubbing alcohol

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The power to implode when you have pee and you can't stop

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The power to turn shades of brown or red, but only when exposed to the sun for an extended amount of time.

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The power to understand irony.

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the power to fly but only 5 feet off the ground and at walking speed.

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The ability to pull Bleach Flavored lighter fluid out of your ass every time you see a modern feminist or a Jacob Satorious video

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The ability to type with your penis on your smart phone during a video chat.

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The power to pick your nose but you happen to be Lord Voldermot

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The power to be better than Chuck Norris, but you have to be in a lucid sleep.

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The power to be able to see 1 second into the future

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The power to eat the same food but you have to throw it up first.

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The ability to break every bone in your body every second, then have super speed. You wouldn't be able to run.

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The power to eat pop-tarts as soon as they pop out of the toaster

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the power to spit long distances at inconvenient times

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the power to write about pointless super powers in universes that nothing exists.

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The power to burn the sun.

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Having a 5 second eidetic memory

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Power that makes you perfect in being useless

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The power to level up on a game which you can't level up on.

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The power to see through things but you can't turn it off once turned on.

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the power of losing and getting in 2nd place or 3th. the power of clearing your mind only for it to stay blank. the power of riding a horse really well aslong as you think it is a cow. the power of breathing AIR. the power of bellyflopping cement. the power of reading ancient arameîc. the power of speaking perfect gibberish.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!