The power to make you`re erections so big you faint.

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The ability to know what time it is when looking at a working clock.

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The ability to read. No wait that is actually helpful. Never mind.

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Astral Projection. Distance: .3mm

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The power to hole 1 inch putts.

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The power to play all Videogames you want, but you have to pay the original price for them.

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the power to make plants grow at a slightly excelled rate when lying on top of them .... you also smell like shit, all the time.

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The ability to get shot, for real.

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The power to make really bad jokes: knock knock who's there chicken chicken who no thats an owl not a chicken, you goose!

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Power to instantly turn drunk

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Acid tears.

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the power to eat bread

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the power to see through hills , but only in saskatchewan

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The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a children's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

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The power to fuck your mum whenever you want

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the power to change people socks on command

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The power of measuring grains of corn from a large distance.

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the power to SHUT UP ALREADY!

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The power to pronounce the word "rural."

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the power to not have superpowers

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The power to die while dieing

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The ability to talk to deer, only while riding one.

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The power of making toast land butter-side up

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The ability to know if you're the only human alive.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!