The power to run really fast, but only when facing brick walls 2 ft away.

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The power to speed up time moments before you are about to die.

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The power to disintegrate yourself

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the power to shoot fireballs only when your underwater

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The power to know you don't have a superpower

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The power to hole 1 inch putts.

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The ability to type incredibly fast when your keyboard is broken.

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The power to be stupid

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The power to whant badly to have kids but you give birth to massive amounts of spiders, ducklings and some undefined type of small feline instead of childen

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The ability to read Captch codes perfectly but not being able to type them correctly

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The ability to look at someone and die.

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The power to be asleep while in bed

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The power to be really offensive after you finished a sentence U FUKING JAP

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The power to turn delicious and tasteful food into useless brown mush.

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The power to fuck your mum whenever you want

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you do not need to eat but you have to sit

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The ability to see through other peoples eyes but only when they're closed.

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The power to change your eye color.

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The ability to excrete Hydrochloric acid, but only in your stomach.

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The power to see through glass walls.

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the power to poo out of your eyeballs and they burn when you do it

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The power of drawing perfects dog dicks, but not dogs at all.

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The ability to instantly make all your clothes vanish but only when you're in a job interview

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A follow up to the next comment bellow... (the irony) is that you also get the powers to type YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! And other quotes at random points... I got these powers... you do not believe me? YOU THINK YOU HAVE THAT LUXURY? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! Moral: GUANTANAMO BAY CUBA! Just making conversation... (throws random small dog in the trash container) last part was just me its not like you get the power to do what he does in movies :P

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!