the power to jerk off

thumb_up thumb_down +19

to not blink for 5 seconds

thumb_up thumb_down +19

The power to shrink smaller than oxygen molecules.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

The power to be allergic to bullets! :)

thumb_up thumb_down +15

PATTIES THAT ARE SUPPOSEDLY READY TO EAT, BUT COVERED IN STICKY HARDENED FAT! Moral: Damn greasy hand surprise! I was going all victoly on guilty gear XXX

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The power to think that you can fly when you wear a cape.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

The power to fly when your touching the ground

thumb_up thumb_down -11

The power to fly but only when your eyes are closed.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

The ability to change races.

thumb_up thumb_down +168

The ability to watch movies in 1D

thumb_up thumb_down +128

The ability to look at someone and know the exact number of times they have farted in the past year.

thumb_up thumb_down +122

The power to make high definition photo a hammer (with a red comfortable heated handle with LED flashing lights) appear out of thin air. (Oh, and on a 8"x11" piece of paper of course).

thumb_up thumb_down +122

The power to eat broken glass and shit windows.

thumb_up thumb_down +118

The power to become white by going into midtown harlem at night and shouting: I HATE NEGROES!!! At the top of your lungs.

thumb_up thumb_down +116

The power to magically create a shampoo bottle in your hands but only when you're on the toilet

thumb_up thumb_down +116

The ability to perfectly walk backwards but only when you are sat down.

thumb_up thumb_down +112

The ability to fart like a zombie.

thumb_up thumb_down +108

The power to have Pauly D haircut while being a dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down +108

The power to teleport to any 3rd world country

thumb_up thumb_down +106

the power to kill someone if you shoot them in the heart

thumb_up thumb_down +106

The power to die at will, and you can only do it once.

thumb_up thumb_down +102

The power to go super sonic speed as long as you are tripping

thumb_up thumb_down +100

The power to teleport, but only to life threatening situations.

thumb_up thumb_down +100

The power to grow the most sexy tits ever. (If your a straight man)

thumb_up thumb_down +96

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!