The power to think of witty comebacks 3 days too late

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The power uncontrollably self destruct when you feel safe.

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the power to walk on land.

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The power to remember and talk about random Pokémon facts during a life and death situation.

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The power to spit so hard and fast that you hit yourself in the back of the head every time... and it can only be used once, because its so hard it goes trough everything...(thus hits you in the skull duh) including your skull... Moral: Remember kids! Protect, Serve and Survive, and ask your mommy and daddy why they make the sexytime... their response may be pretty interesting...

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to be able to fly but only 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000001 millimetres of the ground and not even feel or look like your floating

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The power to see through glass walls.

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The power to read minds but only when you're alone

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The power to die just by trying to use the word l...

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The power to eat soup with a fork.

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The power to disintegrate yourself

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The power to feel like you're gonna sneeze forever

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The power to fly but only when your feet are on the ground

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The power to instantly make an accurate assessment on tomorrow's hangover probability well before you've consumed far more than the amount of alcohol which would guarantee it...and yet manage to forget sometimes you have this superpower.

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The power to stop time whenever you get stabbed in the liver

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The abiltity to grow an additional 4 fingered hand from your inner thigh

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The power to jerk off without using your hands

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The power to not care.

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The power to walk on water, but only if its temperature is below 0° C

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The ability to keep a song stuck in your head overnight

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the power to transform into a rock.

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The power to have any video game that you want along with its system but if you ever die just once you can never play that game again even if you get a new one.

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The power to die.

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The power to die and come back to life in the middle of a crossfire between two tanks.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!