The power to read minds, but only that of someone who is watching Twilight.

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The power to single handily tear one sheet of toilet paper from the roll

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The power to instantly kill anyone you start to love

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The power to fart get a 10 inch but only at your moms house

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The power to run at the speed of invisibility.

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The power to stop existing.

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The power to set money on fire

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The power to look at someone and imaginatively initiate intercourse in the most unreasonable way possible.

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The power to run at the speed of ligth but only when running complete circles

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the power to lower my blood presure to dangerous levels

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the power to look like a boy and sing like a girl (bieber joke)

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The power to do reverse moonwalk

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Beeing 99% Bullet proof, with the 1% shifting places to whereever a bullet is about to hit you.

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The power to be a woman

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The power to sit on a couch whenever your mother tells you that you can.

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to be shitty

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the power to talk to animals.......without them understanding you.

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The power to smell bacon and/or ham at 3 o clock in the afternoon on the second Saturday of March

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The power to become Santa Clause, but only on the fourth of July.

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The power to make clean socks dirty.

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The ability to make any girl hook up with you, while your penis is numb

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The superpower to die in a 1 second.

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Perfect recall of every episode of Teletubies

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The power to get hard at will.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!