The power to text while driving and dies of cancer.

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The power to divide by zero

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the power to awesomely tap dance when you are angry.

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the ability to click your fingers and lose your hands

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EntirelyTooManyNapkins Man

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The power to be the best driver in the world, when not moving.

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the power of breath 10 times per second of you will die

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The power to summon Wolverine, but only so he can give you a colonoscopy.

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The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a chi...ldren's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

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The power to turn yourslef into a suicide bomber just as he blows himself up

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to die when you are happy

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The power to get rid of all advertisements, but only when your eyes are closed.

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The power to speak any language, but only the ones that aren't spoken in the country that you are in.

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the power to finish your plate of veggies when ever you like.

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The power of drawing perfects dog dicks, but not dogs at all.

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The power to do anything else but worship me. Moral: I DEMAND SATISFACTION! I mean I dont need it, I just want you to do something useful with your life for once... That practically makes me into a saint... Aww.... Steve Jobs No More... LOOOOOOOLLLIPOP!

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The power to single handily tear one sheet of toilet paper from the roll

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the power to explain accidents when nobody gives a rats ass anymore

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The power to eat soap.

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THE POWER TO POTENTIALLY HAVE A USELESS POWER ONLY WHILE READING USELESS WEBSITES ON MONDAY WHILE IT IS RAINING ON FIRE

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The power to shoot pieces of cheese from your eyes..

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The power to love Justin Bieber

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The ability for your penis to tie itself into a knot.

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The power to throw-up purple cheese curds on command, but you are also allergic to purple cheese curds?

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!