The power to get rid of all advertisements, but only when your eyes are closed.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

the power to finish your plate of veggies when ever you like.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

The power of drawing perfects dog dicks, but not dogs at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

the power to randomly die at any moment

thumb_up thumb_down +62

the power to beathe

thumb_up thumb_down +56

The power to do anything else but worship me. Moral: I DEMAND SATISFACTION! I mean I dont need it, I just want you to do something useful with your life for once... That practically makes me into a saint... Aww.... Steve Jobs No More... LOOOOOOOLLLIPOP!

thumb_up thumb_down +52

the power to jerk off

thumb_up thumb_down +40

the power to explain accidents when nobody gives a rats ass anymore

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The power to be able to stop the world for two seconds only every 2 years.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The power to eat soap.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

THE POWER TO POTENTIALLY HAVE A USELESS POWER ONLY WHILE READING USELESS WEBSITES ON MONDAY WHILE IT IS RAINING ON FIRE

thumb_up thumb_down +173

The power to look at the sum, but only when it's night

thumb_up thumb_down +167

The power to shoot pieces of cheese from your eyes..

thumb_up thumb_down +135

The ability for your penis to tie itself into a knot.

thumb_up thumb_down +133

The power to throw-up purple cheese curds on command, but you are also allergic to purple cheese curds?

thumb_up thumb_down +129

The power to spell-check or at least reread what you're about to post.

thumb_up thumb_down +127

The power to have Pauly D haircut while being a dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down +127

The power to be invincible to every thing but fire water tornadoes bullets explosions guns knifes blades swords grenades sticks pointy objects disease infections sicknesses flu illness natural disasters accidents vehicles trucks electricity meteors bombs rockets drug addiction peer pressure starvation tiredness torture pain monkeys radiation

thumb_up thumb_down +125

the power to be nonflammable unless your on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +115

The power to have a power

thumb_up thumb_down +115

The power to start time.

thumb_up thumb_down +109

The power to give other people superpowers, but you can't give them to yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +107

the power to not die only when someone shoots you in your left heel.

thumb_up thumb_down +107

The ability to not have a super power.

thumb_up thumb_down +105

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!