Where to start? Ah yes...THE POWER TO NOT FREAKING DO ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!

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The power to know what weather its gonna be like in 1 minute... in South Korea

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The power of being invincible, except when a life-threatening situation develops.

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The power to fart out of someone else's bum

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The ability to fly a millimeter off the ground.

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The power to recharge batteries by licking them.

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The power to freeze ice

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The power to have superhuman strength. But I have to jack off to do so.

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the power to fly, but only when you poop

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The ability to evolve into magickarp

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The power to be able to write the worlds best book or movie script but if anyone reads it, it will combust into flames.

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The astounding ability to lay eggs instead of give birth.

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The ability to fly a millimeter of the actual natural ground (cancelling stuff like concrete and water) or perfectly levitating; Criss Angel style

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The power to teleport, but in doing so you lose a limb.

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The ability to unbleep swear words on your tv.

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The power to read the future in a language you will never learn to understand. Moral: I read that "thy comment expects a billion red thumbs"... WTF does that mean?

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The power to implode when you have pee and you can't stop

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The power to fell pain 3 minutes after it happens.

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The power to ejaculate

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the power to imagine any women naked...but only as an octogenerian

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The power to turn delicious and tasteful food into useless brown mush.

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The power to turn trollface by yelling "TROLLFACE ACTIVATE!" You can turn human-face again by yelling "XYGNEFAGINTHYCHRSICXAIOXJIEHJFEIHFIGHEÅÆELFKEÆKFÆEFKEÆAKFÆEAFKÆAFKEÆAFKOÆEFOKEÆFKAÆEA" For a year in exact correct spelling/pronunciation.

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The power to regenerate, but only small cuts

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The ability to type with your penis on your smart phone during a video chat.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!