The ability to evolve into magickarp

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The astounding ability to lay eggs instead of give birth.

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The power to be able to write the worlds best book or movie script but if anyone reads it, it will combust into flames.

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The ability to fly a millimeter of the actual natural ground (cancelling stuff like concrete and water) or perfectly levitating; Criss Angel style

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The power to teleport, but in doing so you lose a limb.

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The ability to unbleep swear words on your tv.

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The power to read the future in a language you will never learn to understand. Moral: I read that "thy comment expects a billion red thumbs"... WTF does that mean?

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The power to ride a unicorn without a horn that can't fly.

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The power to implode when you have pee and you can't stop

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The power to fell pain 3 minutes after it happens.

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The power to turn delicious and tasteful food into useless brown mush.

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the power to imagine any women naked...but only as an octogenerian

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The power to be stupid reading this.

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ability to swim superhuman fast, but only if you're completely naked and dry

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The ability to type with your penis on your smart phone during a video chat.

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The power to turn trollface by yelling "TROLLFACE ACTIVATE!" You can turn human-face again by yelling "XYGNEFAGINTHYCHRSICXAIOXJIEHJFEIHFIGHEÅÆELFKEÆKFÆEFKEÆAKFÆEAFKÆAFKEÆAFKOÆEFOKEÆFKAÆEA" For a year in exact correct spelling/pronunciation.

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The ability to change the color of your socks while wearing shoes

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The power to whenever you watch tv you can only watch commercials.

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The power to put your finger in your brain, but doing so kills you and achieves nothing.

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The power to enter a car, but only if the car is out of gas.

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The power to write pointless superpowers

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The ability to forget what your saying every 3 seco- what was I saying again?

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the power to take a poo everywhere but on the toilet

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The power to get laid by your right hand.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!