The power to turn into an escalator

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The power to have all sensory input interpreted as pain

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The power to peel a banana with your foreskin

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The power to wake up to surprise sex in the morning... in prision.

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The power to kill someone as long as they've already been killed.

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the power to make pointless superpowers

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The power to breathe oxygen.

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The ability to teleport 0.00000000000000007 seconds in the past

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the ability to walk barefooted on top of legos without pain but only as long as you don't know they're legos

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The ability to look directly at the sun without damaging your eyes.

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The Power To Right Your Own Power On This Website.

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The power to read and immediately understand any vanity license plate from Arizona.

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The power to turn acute triangles into equilateral triangles.

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The power to ride a camel when slapping a donkeys butt cheeks

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The power to teleport randomly anywhere on the planet, once every hour

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The power to drink bleach in a gatorade bottle

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The power to see through glass

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The power to make your breath smell like vanilla at will.

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The power to yawn with your mouth closed

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The power to see any woman naked, but only if she's wearing to clothes...

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The power to revert to a six year old and teleport to the closest pedophile guild

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???q? ?o?? sp??oq??? ?nq ????u o? ???l?q? ???

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The power to become a forensic paranoiac raving lunatic at will... HEY! YOU! Why are you gonna give my comment a thumbs down eh? AND WHY A THUMBS UP? Are you gonna hack my account and kill my family? OH YEAH! OH YEAH? I AM GONNA KILL THEM MYSELF JUST TO TAKE IT AWAY FROM YOU! BAHAHAHAHA!

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The power to remember when pepperidge farm remembered

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!