The superpower to speak from to anybody's asshole.

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A parapalegic with super strength! Oh and with lockjaw, and addicted to Botox.

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The power to move microscopic specks of dust, but only one at a time, and only a few times a year.

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The power to grow your toenails, but only one at a time.

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The power to recite all digits of pi, but you can’t stop and you die when you’re done

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The power to easily persuade people to your opposing viewpoint

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The power to emit contagious yawns.

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The ability to breathe underwater but only when above water

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The power to see five times as clearly and up close, only when looking at insects and arachnids.

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The power to be arrested for crimes you did not commit

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The power to make birds levitate as you walk by them.

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the power to tolerate alex simpson

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The power to transport yourself back in time to when the universe began!

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The power to automatically yell every action you do like in a Japanese fighting game, I once started doing this for fun, at the end of the day eveyone hated me, good luck. (OPEN DOOR! OPEN DOOR! CLOSE DOOR! POOL SHOT! CUMMING HARD CUMMING HARD! SONIC BOOM! BEING TOLD TO SHUT UP! BEING TOLD TO SHUT UP! TAKING A PUNCH TO THE FACE UPPERCUT!)

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the power to be an incest pedo called jack sanders.

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The power to achieve 98% opacity

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The power to stand still for five hours

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To be flaming gay. Both kinds.

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The SuperPower To Have No SuperPowers

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the ability to invent cheese and toast

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The power to go back in time and kill yourself in the past.

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the power to inflate your testicles to such size, that it hurts.

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the power to have the remote come to you.

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The power to skip the Kripp.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!