The power to make anyone even on live tv such as news or sports to explosively crap their pants.

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The power to exhale clouds.

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The power to laugh at Tyler Perry's House of Payne.

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The power to be able to run at the speed of light only when you have no energy to stand up

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The power to fly while masturbating.

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The power to get a boner when you're horny.

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The power to die while dieing

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A follow up to the next comment bellow... (the irony) is that you also get the powers to type YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! And other quotes at random points... I got these powers... you do not believe me? YOU THINK YOU HAVE THAT LUXURY? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! Moral: GUANTANAMO BAY CUBA! Just making conversation... (throws random small dog in the trash container) last part was just me its not like you get the power to do what he does in movies :P

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The power to use you`re veins as a lasso.

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The power to pee out of your nose and drink out of your ears

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The power to easily dodge any bullets from any weapons ever... as long as the bullets are made of cheese.

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The power to know what happens in a film seconds before watching it.

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The power to be 1% bullet proof.

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The power to phase through walls, but only when you're in an airplane.

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the power to control your own body movements

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The power to throw discs in Ricochet only when fell out of pad.

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The ability to breath pre-chewed cereal.

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the power to make broccoli taste like asparagus

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The power to see through glass. Oh wait.

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The power to be dead

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The ability to turn into a were-turtle when exposed to the full moon.

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the power to summon endless number of girls ages 6 to 13 but only if you 47 years old

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The power to be able to able to be really smart at things no one cares about.

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The power to always fart at the most inappropriate time

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!