The power to die while dieing

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A follow up to the next comment bellow... (the irony) is that you also get the powers to type YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! And other quotes at random points... I got these powers... you do not believe me? YOU THINK YOU HAVE THAT LUXURY? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! Moral: GUANTANAMO BAY CUBA! Just making conversation... (throws random small dog in the trash container) last part was just me its not like you get the power to do what he does in movies :P

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The power to use you`re veins as a lasso.

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The power to pee out of your nose and drink out of your ears

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The power to easily dodge any bullets from any weapons ever... as long as the bullets are made of cheese.

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the power to be the best looking person but only to rapists.

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The power to know what happens in a film seconds before watching it.

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Eat pizza but you have to be eating pizza

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The power to be 1% bullet proof.

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the power to control your own body movements

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The power to phase through walls, but only when you're in an airplane.

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the power to make broccoli taste like asparagus

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The power to throw discs in Ricochet only when fell out of pad.

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The ability to breath pre-chewed cereal.

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The power to summon tastebuds in your asshole, but cannot be undone within 24 hours.

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The power to see through glass. Oh wait.

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The power to be dead

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the power to summon endless number of girls ages 6 to 13 but only if you 47 years old

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The power to be able to able to be really smart at things no one cares about.

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The power to always fart at the most inappropriate time

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The power to see five times as clearly and up close, only when looking at insects and arachnids.

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The power to instantly engrave your face into any urinal anywhere at will.

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Invisibility, but only in the dark.

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the power to be in minecraft but as a pig near someones house

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!