The power of drawing perfects dog dicks, but not dogs at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

thumb_up thumb_down +56

The power to read minds, but only that of someone who is watching Twilight.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

The power to type useless powers that no one's ever gonna read.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

The power to have a unique fart smell

thumb_up thumb_down +50

the power to jerk off

thumb_up thumb_down +38

The power to transform your foreskin to rusty iron.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

the power to make food disappear in your mouth only when your mouth is not closed.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

The power to eat soap.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

The power to poop but only in bushes.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

The power to drown on land.

thumb_up thumb_down +137

The power to hold your breath forever, but only in a hot-tub.

thumb_up thumb_down +135

The power to attract bullets when a gun fires

thumb_up thumb_down +133

Shoppers today in the mattress department we just started a great promotion.

thumb_up thumb_down +133

To be ALMOST able to run faster than a speeding bullet

thumb_up thumb_down +131

The power to make high definition photo a hammer (with a red comfortable heated handle with LED flashing lights) appear out of thin air. (Oh, and on a 8"x11" piece of paper of course).

thumb_up thumb_down +129

The power to spell-check or at least reread what you're about to post.

thumb_up thumb_down +127

The power to have magnetic eyeballs.

thumb_up thumb_down +123

The power to communicate with your own toenail clippings.

thumb_up thumb_down +123

Nipple Radar.

thumb_up thumb_down +119

The power to die spontaneously, and have no one notice

thumb_up thumb_down +119

The ability to turn cement into pudding

thumb_up thumb_down +117

The power to change the color of your arm hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +115

the power to talk to your elbow

thumb_up thumb_down +115

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!