the power to fire angry ticks out of your nipples

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The power to only drink when your parents are watching.

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the power to tolerate alex simpson

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The power to propel urine at the top speed of the animal you most recently thought of.

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The power to let someone control your dick

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The power to automatically yell every action you do like in a Japanese fighting game, I once started doing this for fun, at the end of the day eveyone hated me, good luck. (OPEN DOOR! OPEN DOOR! CLOSE DOOR! POOL SHOT! CUMMING HARD CUMMING HARD! SONIC BOOM! BEING TOLD TO SHUT UP! BEING TOLD TO SHUT UP! TAKING A PUNCH TO THE FACE UPPERCUT!)

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The power to have a x-ray vision. but only for adults.

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the power to get a 100" erection but only over your dead greatgrandma

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The power to summon anything you hate. Moral: Relax I hate morals too, if you ever find a moral here, then its not the original guy.

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The power of walk on the water if it is frozen.

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The power to heal yourself but only damage you inflict on yourself.

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the power to ejaculate lava.

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The power to read 20 pages of pointless superpowers, but only during science class

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The power to walk on frozen water.

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The power to make really bad jokes: knock knock who's there chicken chicken who no thats an owl not a chicken, you goose!

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The ability to read minds by absorbing their mental disorders

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The power to talk to animals and plants, but only to have really boring conversations with them.

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The power to increase or decrease the size of your bones, but only your bones, not your flesh.

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the power the convince people if they agree

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the power to waste time watching a video about pointless superpowers while using this website

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The power to shoot your teeth at the force of a Nerf gun.

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X ray vision on chairs

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the abilty to come back to life, but in a black hole.

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The powaaaaaaa srry again..... The power to be come a parked car THEY SEE ME NOT ROLLING...... WOOOOOO

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!