The power to instantaneously change the grain of wood

thumb_up thumb_down +55

The power to jump faster.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

A follow up to the next comment bellow... (the irony) is that you also get the powers to type YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! And other quotes at random points... I got these powers... you do not believe me? YOU THINK YOU HAVE THAT LUXURY? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! Moral: GUANTANAMO BAY CUBA! Just making conversation... (throws random small dog in the trash container) last part was just me its not like you get the power to do what he does in movies :P

thumb_up thumb_down +47

The power to have an ejaculate in your pants by looking a girl in the eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

You can fly, but only while on a plane that's in the air.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

The power to see through glass walls.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

The power to make every single person in the world hate you and want you dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

The power to see very far with the eyes closed.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

The ability to read minds, but it can only be your own.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

You can hear what people think ...in sign language.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

The ability to fly, but only when you wear absolutely nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

the power to read whenever somebody is about to make a pun but only if youve already heard that pun

thumb_up thumb_down +21

The power to slap your buttcheeks together, then transform into a head of cabbage.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

the power to solve any problem and answer any question or equation, you just have to read all books known to mankind.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

The ability to hear fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

The power to hear a dog whistle

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The power to spontaneously combust into trillions of microscopic kittens, every time you stare a cat photo for more then 3 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

u?op ?p?sdn ?d?? o? ???od ???

thumb_up thumb_down -1

to travel in time....2 minutes in the past exactly after..masturbation.... masturbation-time-loop...........

thumb_up thumb_down -7

The power to be 1% bullet proof.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

The power to incriminate yourself in a crime you didnt commit

thumb_up thumb_down -31

The ability to eat anything except for food

thumb_up thumb_down -61

The power to turn into a toothpick. Once. And you can't go back.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

The superpower to speak from to anybody's asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +140

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!