The power to not be Chuck Norris.

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The power to paralyze yourself from the waist-up.

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power to look pretty but only in your mom's eyes

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The ability to fart and pee twice in one go.

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The power to cure cancer, but only on corpses

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The power to strangle yourself to death

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The power to hold your breath forever, but only in a hot-tub.

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Shoppers today in the mattress department we just started a great promotion.

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The power to make high definition photo a hammer (with a red comfortable heated handle with LED flashing lights) appear out of thin air. (Oh, and on a 8"x11" piece of paper of course).

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the power to be powerless

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The power to communicate with your own toenail clippings.

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Nipple Radar.

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The power to die spontaneously, and have no one notice

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The ability to listen to music anywhere at anytime, but only if it's from the Jonas Brothers.

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the power to fire angry ticks out of your nipples

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The power to become a forensic paranoiac raving lunatic at will... HEY! YOU! Why are you gonna give my comment a thumbs down eh? AND WHY A THUMBS UP? Are you gonna hack my account and kill my family? OH YEAH! OH YEAH? I AM GONNA KILL THEM MYSELF JUST TO TAKE IT AWAY FROM YOU! BAHAHAHAHA!

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The power to change the color of your arm hair.

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The power to regulate your body temperature at about 98 degrees at all times.

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the power to make a super smelly fart every time you eat 40 cotton balls

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Incredible Slothman. The power to move slowly.

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the power to teleport to the center of the earth

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The power to watch a movie without falling asleep through most of it

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the power to make thin air that is harmless

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he power to make mistakes

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!