The power to paralyze yourself from the waist-up.

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The ability to fart and pee twice in one go.

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The power to cure cancer, but only on corpses

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The power to strangle yourself to death

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The power to invent things that have already been invented.

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The power to set money on fire

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The power to survive in space as long as you have a working space suit on.

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the power to be powerless

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The ability to listen to music anywhere at anytime, but only if it's from the Jonas Brothers.

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the ability to manually control your breathing

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The power to become a forensic paranoiac raving lunatic at will... HEY! YOU! Why are you gonna give my comment a thumbs down eh? AND WHY A THUMBS UP? Are you gonna hack my account and kill my family? OH YEAH! OH YEAH? I AM GONNA KILL THEM MYSELF JUST TO TAKE IT AWAY FROM YOU! BAHAHAHAHA!

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the power to fire angry ticks out of your nipples

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The power to regulate your body temperature at about 98 degrees at all times.

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The power to achieve 98% opacity

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the power to make a super smelly fart every time you eat 40 cotton balls

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Incredible Slothman. The power to move slowly.

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The power to bleed anally at will

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The power to think of pointless powers.

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he power to make mistakes

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the power to make thin air that is harmless

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The power to have your right hand permanently glued to your face.

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The power to watch a movie without falling asleep through most of it

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The power to go in jail every time you are alone.

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The ability to fly up 3feet travel to travel a meter forwards

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!